My Wonderful, Interracial Relationship

As I think of things to write about, I start to look at my life - the way I live, the decisions I've made. I can't guarantee that every post will be interesting to you or that you'll be entertained enough to read the whole thing. My hope is that maybe somewhere one person will read the post and relate. That being said...

A big part of my life is my relationship with my boyfriend. For those of you who have never met either of us OR creeped on my Facebook, I am one half of an awesomely interracial dating couple. 

I am [excuse my bluntness] probably one of the whitest people out there.

My boyfriend of just under two and a half years, Rafael, is Dominican.

I know, I know... we're adorable ;) 

And believe me, race is not the only difference between the two of us. When we started dating, I think the majority of the people who knew both of us were mostly just confused. 

I grew up in the suburbs. 

He grew up in the city.

I grew up riding horses. 

He grew up playing football.

I adore country music. 

He loves his John Legend.

I am the definition of talkative. 

He could sit and think for hours.

When we first met, I honestly didn't think about it at all. If anything, it made me more interested. It wasn't until we started dating in mid-October that I really thought about what that meant for us to have such different backgrounds and cultures. For the most part, we live in a pretty accepting age. But when we started dating and I began to get to know his family and friends, doubts and concerns started going through my mind. As sheltered as it may sound, I had never been in a situation where I was the minority, especially not one where I was trying to impress! I grew up in a predominantly white community and went to a private Catholic school, which was again predominantly white. Race had never been a big deal to me at all. But choosing to yoke yourself with someone that closely is different. 

About a week into our relationship, Raf tells me that his family wants me to come to Thanksgiving. What I was thinking sounded something like... WHAT!? Wait... seriously? But that would mean that I would have to meet them. And charm them. And then they would tell you what they think.. What if they don't like me? Will you not like me? Will they care that I'm white? Will they care that I don't speak Spanish? Will they approve of my dating their beloved son?

But of course I just said, "That sounds great!" *anxious smile*

One month into our relationship and I'm driving down to Providence to meet his family. Now, his family is amazing and I absolutely adore every one of them. But getting out of the car and walking into the house to meet them was terrifying. Their traditions are different. Their family dynamic is different. Spanish is being spoke [and my Spanish extends as far as Gracias].

Frankly, it was a tad overwhelming. 

I don't think I really understood that its okay that we're different. Its okay that we both grew up in different homes and were surrounded by different cultures. And its even okay that we're dating each other :) Thank goodness.

Since then, I've learned that it doesn't necessarily need to be one culture or the other. Our relationship itself is the combination of two cultures. Two people that are very different [emphasis on the very] can learn from each other and become better people together. And it can work! 

I've learned to dance bachata, merengue, and salsa. He's learned to put up with my country music [but only during the summer].  Thats just the little things. I've learned to be grateful in all circumstances. He's learned to look at things more positively. 

From the outside, it may seem like we have nothing in common. But race, culture, upbringing, and appearance have very little to do with a successful relationship. As we get to know each other better, we learn from one another. We have not let the fact that we are two different races define our relationship. Add in our wonderful God and we're golden :) 28 months later, I could not be happier with him. Not only do I seriously have the most loving, adorable boyfriend, but I also have gained so much. And I could not imagine my life without my Raffy. 

x,

CB

Ps. I still don't speak Spanish... I should get on that...